Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Sometimes, the words just don't come easily. Either that or the previous "message" is on repeat...

"pain, on pain, on play repeating. With a back-up, make shift life in waiting..."

This is a line from one of my favorite songs, by Imogen Heap. {SHE IS AMAZING {SIDE NOTE: I WENT TO HER CONCERT LAST MONDAY AND SHE BLEW ME AWAY} IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH HER MUSIC - ACQUAINT YOURSELF, HERE} This line runs through my head frequently! It sounds a bit bazaar that such a sorrow-filled lyric would permeate itself in my daily "doings", but it holds an astounding amount of truth! We get comfortable with our day-to-day process, and continually repeat the same mistakes, OVER and OVER again!

What it {THIS PAIN} repeats itself as, in my life, is: SELF WORTH! {OR THE LACK THERE OF} Sometimes, I feel, if i could just tweak, and or nix my past, I find myself a little more valuable. Can anyone relate?! Its the twisted thought of, "If I hadn't done THAT, I would be more deserving of THIS!" WRONG!!! I am realizing that what I've done, and where I've been DOES NOT define me, however, it HAS shaped who I am, today!

"You cannot amputate your history from your destiny!"
-Beth Moore

Let me break it down for you: If in my short life, I hadn't been broken in the ways that I have been, I would have missed out on so much! The joy of having children, the love for people that I have discovered, the growth that has come, and continues to come... the list goes on!!! My life is less than ideal on so many levels, but the passion that comes from the experience, far surpasses the pain and suffering that I've endured!!

Back to the repetition part of this post, {I TEND TO RUN ON TANGENTS! FORGIVE ME?} As much as it hurts, our mistakes repeat themselves over and over until we've learned what we're intended to learn. Sometimes it takes a while for the light bulb to flip on, but i guarantee, my friend, once it does - It. Is. Good!

There is so much hope and so many blessings to come! Just a few weeks ago, my pastor described it like this: {MY WORDS, NOT HIS} Transformation {the painful part} feels like the end of existences.

When a babe is being born, that baby is scared. Scared to the point where it believes IT IS OVER! What that baby doesn't know is the pure and simple factor that a FULL life awaits just beyond this stage of transition.

Friend, after the pain, THERE IS LIFE!!! I'm not sure you know just how excited this is to me! I hope you can join my excitement, in this!

E-mail if you want! I'd love to hear from you! I hope you enjoy!

until next time,


sorry for the errors.... I'm running late! :D

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


"For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

2 Corinthians 4:17, 18

Life can be so confusing! I will NOW run the risk of sounding like a broken record, in saying:


Just when I began to feel like I had figured out enough that I wouldn't have to see the future, I started thinking about NEW dilemma's, that could hinder my well-being... Life can literally turn on a DIME. You'd think after 2 unplanned pregnancies, {one at 17, and the other at 21} I would have that theory figured out! {DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT TELLING YOU THAT I AM PREGNANT! LETS PUT THAT TO REST before IT EVEN POSES AS A QUESTION.} What I am talking about is this: things seem great, BETTER THAN YOU IMAGINED, at one moment, and the next your on you're knees wondering if that circumstance will EVER be within your reach. I am a firm believer in the fact that, if it is the desire of your heart, God will in some way bring satisfaction to those desires, as long as you are actively pursuing - no, SEEKING His will for your life.

Where I get caught up is when I feel that desire is almost at a point where I can grasp it, and it just slips through the CrAcKs. I forget that my timing is anything BUT perfect. My timing is selfish, and Gods timing - well, His timing is perfect. PURE. When I am ready, He will provide me with exactly what I need. For all of us, this NEED {desire} is different. It could be a dream job, love, a home to call your own, children - whatever that may look like for you, I encourage you to fix your eyes on things above and not the ROAD BLOCKING, circumstances you may be living, in this moment. Fix your gaze on the One with the perfect timing, and EVERYTHING will fall into place. {it's not going to be easy, but it's worth it!} Until next time!