Monday, August 12, 2013

This life. (begun January '13 || completed August '13)

This life will never be easy. Everyday, we're faced with new challenges. Sometimes our struggles are temporary, a one time deal. Other times, the struggle repeats itself over and over again. It manifests in different, yet strikingly similar ways until we can learn from it and move forward. I'm in one of those repetitive movements. My challenge is {and I'm fairly certain often will be} learning to be content where ever I am in life. The grass will always be greener on the other side, no? But I want... And I feel like this would be good... And I need... And... Oh and... And... When really, I don't. It doesn't matter what it is- I don't. It won't. Just. Be. Content.

For some bazaar reason, recently I've tried to project what my future may hold.  It's bazaar for two reasons- one: because I'm not in any way a planner. And two: I am well aware that expectation is the root of all heart ache. It seems like an easy concept to grasp until you're in a situation that has gone in the complete opposite direction you were hoping. I've learned this many times over. But here's something that I've held onto as history has repeated itself in my life:

Because of the Lords great love we are not consumed, for his compassions NEVER fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
Lamentations 3:22-24

This brings me so much comfort. Because of his love for me, I don't have to be consumed by the trivial struggles of this life. I can focus on being love. I can focus on being content. I know that I'm taken care of, no matter what. I can say that I know he has a plan. I have NO idea what that plan is but I know it's a plan that's best for me, and for my boys. A plan that is far better than anything I could even dream. He's not finished with me yet. The story is only just beginning to unfold.