Thursday, January 26, 2012

fullness in the waiting

There is so much to be learned in waiting. I know that God is working in my heart and preparing me for what's to come - but I'm so anxious to get there. I guess when I finally release that sense of urgency, is when He'll bring me the desires of my heart. And when I say 'the desires of my heart' - I do not meant the fatty avocado bacon burger I've been craving for days. I mean REAL desires. To have the one I can build my life and grow old with. A home for my kids to grow up in. A dog, and a yard to weed. Bursting pipes and a flooding basement. Uprooted trees after ice storms... I want it all. - Side note: Seattle just had the biggest snow/ice storm since the 80's. Five days and two feet of snow - the ENTIRE city shut down... Pretty amazeballs. {It's important for you to know that I, in no way think that having this life will end my periods of waiting. Just to be clear.}I have been so anxious to move forward rather than enjoying where I am! Right now, I am right here. And although it is not the fullness that is to come - it's the fullness that is. And here is where I am supposed to be. Three months from now, life will likely look different than it does today. So I'm going forth, enjoying the moments I have. Loving the ones that are in my life and when the future comes, I will be ready to love it and to learn from it!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

My Portion

My life is so unbelievably rich! I have so much to be thankful for. More than I really need. But I've fallen into the habit of looking at what other people have and desiring more. The grass is always greener, no?! I have two beautiful boys that I *adore*. The support of my amazingly, unique family. I'm part of an awesome church that I feel embraced by - but there is always something just out of reach that I want. Right now, that something is my 20's. I would love to know what it's like to be 25 and care free! To go to concerts without having to wake up at seven thirty the next morning. Or having to wake up - but with the freedom to take a three hour nap later in the day. I would love to take a spontaneous road trip, or book a flight to a random far off land and stay there until the money runs out! I would love all of those things - but that is not realistic! {obviously- laughable, really!}And I'm good with that! I am LEARNING and GROWING and fixing my eyes on things above - that's really the only place I'll find fulfillment for my desires! Knowing that there is a God that loves me and fits where that missing piece is. He is my portion.

Because of the Lords great love we are not consumed, for his compassions NEVER fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
Lamentations 3:22-24