I'm good at telling my story. I'm good at removing the emotion from the words. I'm good at that, and I don't think that's, well... good.
You see, I have this fear of being hurt. I fear that if I let my guard down, people will see me for the hodge podge mess that I am. I fear they'll decide my life isn't for them to invest in. I fear that if my reality alters their reality- in any way- I'm the one to blame. I fear that it'll be held against me at some point, maybe even years down the road.
I am afraid of feeling vulnerable. So, I don't.
I'm at a crossroads.
Relationships. They are about being transparent. About being a real person. Authentic and vulnerable. They're about investing TIME and ENERGY. They're about tearing down the facade. Iron sharpens iron, no? It's about living intentionally. Loving well.
I'm wrestling with some stuff. I don't quite know how, but I'm working my way out of this box.